relationship help

It is obvious that the way men and women approach relationship is different.  Nothing unusual there.  But it is useful relationship intelligence to understand a bit more about how men and women are lined up towards intimacy. You can get info on intimacy help here.

Men do not, as a general rule, innately understand some core skills around building intimacy.  They do not generally get much practice or put much attention on nurturing, empathizing, and focusing on the wants of others.

Yes, men know how to communicate in relationship, but the way in which we communicate is often different than females, it is usually oriented towards problem-solving (a form of winning), and establishing dominance (or avoiding it from others).

So men, speaking in large generalities here, know a lot about winning and losing, boundaries and control.  They may not know much about empathy and the value of nurturing others and focusing on the needs of others.

Growing up, boys play different games than girls.  Playing cowboys and Indians and playing army, boys learn about territory and dominance.  Nothing wrong with boys playing such games, it is actually good for them developmentally, but they don’t learn much about loving and empathizing and nurturing.  You can get more How To Get help on fixing relationship problems here.

Girls played with dolls.  They played house.  They had imaginary tea parties.  These are games of nurturing and socializing.  Girls actually learn and play at intimacy growing up.  This is a powerful difference.  So given the different ways genders are socialized, when it comes to building intimacy, who has the most innate skill?

Would it be women, who learned from childhood how to love and nurture and socialize?  Or would it be men, who learned how to scream “I shot you, you’re dead!”

Here then is the point.  Men, recognize that you may need some help learning to nurture and empathize and connect with others, including your mate.  Women, don’t go around assuming your should know what to do when it comes to nurturing and loving.  You may have to gently guide them in the right direction.  Intimacy factors can be learned!  You can learn more about how to make your mate love you here.