What is the major reason for marital infidelity?

Whether an affair with somebody apart from your spouse is explicitly sexual or just simple infatuation, it should be taken as a warning sign that all is not well in a marriage. The reason for such affairs generally originates from some unsatisfied emotional or physical need within a marriage. An extramarital affair is one of the 3 most serious issues affecting a marriage. It involves breaking the most sacred of trusts between a couple. As a consequence, most marriages are not capable of surviving infidelity.

These are the principal reasons/excuses given by most people for being involved in an extramarital affair:

1. The spark has gone out of our marital relationship.
2. I was coerced into temptation by the other person in the illicit relationship.
3. My partner is always tired and has lost their appetite for sex.
4. It was just a one night stand and happened after I had too much to drink.
5. My ex wanted to come back to me so I was tempted into an affair with them.
6. I go away on frequent business trips so my opportunities for intimacy at home are limited.
7. My spouse’s continuing ill health means very limited opportunities for sexual intimacy.

It is probably likely that some of the above will not be capable of being resolved. Be that as it may, if a couple are prepared to put the “indiscretion” behind them and are determined to pick up the challenge of working towards repairing their marital relationship then surviving the infidelity will be all that much easier. Some matters need to be given serious thought however:

• If the innocent spouse has had sexual relations with their marriage partner since the beginning of the affair, then it would be wise to have a medical check to discover whether there are any health issues that require medical intervention. This is an issue that shouldn’t be taken lightly. It is important from the point of view of determining whether there has been any possible transmission of some kind of sexual disease to an innocent partner.
• The matter of trust also needs to be given careful deliberation. Can I trust my spouse again after what they have put me and our family through?
• Is it really on the cards for my spouse to break off the illicit relationship, or not to be lured into another extramarital relationship again even if they have promised that they will definitely remain faithful in the future?
• Careful consideration needs to be given to involving a third party to provide marriage counseling to ensure that there is truly a determination on the part of both spouses to make the marriage work and that solutions and ground rules are firmly in place. It can be quite tough for both the person who has been affected by their partner’s extramarital affair, and the guilty partner, to sort out all the problems associated with this concerning matter on their own.

If you are the blameless party and are really interested in forgiving your partner, and giving your marriage another go, there may be a real possibility of success if:

• Your spouse voluntarily divulged the affair to you.
• They are open under questioning about it.
• They have told you that they are remorseful for having strayed.
• They have agreed to end all connection with the other party.
• They have offered to be involved in counseling.

An extramarital affair doesn’t have to mean the finish of a marriage if you both truly have the desire and the will to fix your relationship then marriage reconciliation is well within the bounds of possibility.