When Good Relationships Go Bad

So what do you do when you are married and find that you are in a marriage crisis? Maybe your spouse has just told you that they “I do not love you anymore” or they have asked you for a divorce. Whether you have been married for one year or twenty, divorce is never easy to face and it leaves an impact on everyone in the families involved not to mention it causes you to feel like it is the end of the world especially if you never saw it coming. I am sure it has left you with the question, “How can I save my marriage today and stop divorce from happening?”

As a rule co-dependent people will subconsciously seek out counter-dependent people and counter-dependent people will subconsciously seek co-dependent people. Sometimes you do find two counter-dependents in a relationship where they are always fighting or two co-dependents in a relationship where they both feel aimless.

As a result of people being brought up with a male stereotype of men being strong, decisive and dominant and a female stereotype of women being caring, nurturing and submissive, then men are more likely to fall into the counter-dependent role and women are more likely to fall into a co-dependent role, although it must be noted that this is not always the case and there will be some relationships with a counter-dependent woman and a codependent man (the stereotypical hen pecked husband).

That’s exactly what should continue to happen, the only difference being that you’re there, too, sitting alongside him. Watch the movie and enjoy yourself, but don’t get too affectionate. Afterwards, everyone helps to clear away the dishes if that’s what normally happens and you make sure that you’re part of the action as well.

The problem is that anger/irritation/resentment has the effect of making the angry person believe that he/she is always in the right. This makes it very difficult for them to be convinced of the extent of negativity in their behavior.

If reading this, you believe that you may be co-dependent either in the co-dependent or counter-dependent role, you may wish to seek counseling or join a Co-dependants Anonymous group. Most importantly you will need to be patient both with yourself and your partner because you need to remember that it took many years for you to become like you are so you can expect it will take time to modify your behavior

Resource Author Francisco R. Higueras
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